And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
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I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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