I feel great
I just peed on a car
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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