when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
