good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And then my night got REAL pukey
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
