she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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