How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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