It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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