Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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