i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
PANTIES FOUND
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