my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
