goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
