Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize