it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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