Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize