At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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