What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
no, he came in my armpit
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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