Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's rum buckets o'clock
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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