He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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