i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
