That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
