I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
