I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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