there was a trapeze. enough said
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
