dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
