So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The struggles of a small town man whore
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You don't make any sense
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