You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
