If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
