So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
