I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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