Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dating After Heartbreak
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?