I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
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Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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