Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Randomize
Follow @tfln