Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?

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(434): did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/alh3

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(308): View more from Nebraska

It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low

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(308): It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low http://tfl.nu/rfi4

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(302): View more from Delaware

i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.

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(302): i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace. (1-302): you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING. http://tfl.nu/vhdb

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(561): View more from Florida

If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.

(1-561): View more from Florida

Agreed

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(561): If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet. (1-561): Agreed http://tfl.nu/8njb

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(248): View more from Michigan

new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.

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(248): new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home. http://tfl.nu/dmz8

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(317): View more from Indiana

One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

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(317): One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom http://tfl.nu/vjva

Replies (14) Good night (1409) Bad night (3496) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

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(519): I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex. http://tfl.nu/m5l5

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(479): View more from Arkansas

They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.

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(479): They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless. http://tfl.nu/hmfp

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(240): View more from Maryland

We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

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(240): We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course. http://tfl.nu/y9iu

Replies (55) Good night (15928) Bad night (1278)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.

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(402): Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home. http://tfl.nu/zy9j

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(707): View more from California

You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."

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(707): You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever." http://tfl.nu/rkii

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(813): View more from Florida

I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.

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(813): I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now. http://tfl.nu/w7s6

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.

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(402): He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians. http://tfl.nu/6owi

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(925): View more from California

Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

(650): View more from California

Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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(925): Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to. (650): Its a good thing to know for upcoming events. http://tfl.nu/a1ga

Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (192)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

(781): View more from Massachusetts

i think i might be a female sloth

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(617): female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away (781): i think i might be a female sloth http://tfl.nu/d8fr

Replies (5) Good night (1557) Bad night (127)

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