you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning