I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.