I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
