I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?