M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
