His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
