we have officially lost it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
