everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
