Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Randomize
