ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
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OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
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Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf