he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.