Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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