By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I understand Curling. That high.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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