everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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