Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
