so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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