How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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