big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
