why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want nice things and good sex
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
