I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
