her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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