Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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