yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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