True but thats because hes a fetus.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
