I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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