The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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