How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
