What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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