toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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