Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
