you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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