Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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