are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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