The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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