Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
