i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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